A Wal-Mart store that sells husbands has just opened in
Dallas, TX, where a woman may go to choose a husband from among
many men. Among the instructions at the entrance, is a description
of how the store operates. There are only 6 floors. It states that
the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the
flights. There is, however, a catch....
As you open the door to any floor you may choose any man from
that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down
except to exit the building.
So, a woman goes to the Wal-Mart Husband Store to find a
husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
She continues on. The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
She continues on. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good
looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She
goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good
looking and help with the housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims,
"I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and
sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead
gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic
streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor
and the Sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,012 to this floor. There are no
men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are
impossible to please. Thank you for shopping Wal-Mart.
Posted on: May 14, 2008 7:25 pm
Category: General
Posted on: May 8, 2008 3:50 pm
MAN RULES
Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Category: General
Posted on: May 5, 2008 8:22 am
Is youy Brain operating at maximum efficiency?
In one episode of "Cheers", Cliff is seated at the bar describing the
Buffalo Theory to his buddy, Norm. I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this.
"Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the heard is hunted, it is the lowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. Naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
Buffalo Theory to his buddy, Norm. I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this.
"Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the heard is hunted, it is the lowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. Naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
Category: General
Posted on: April 30, 2008 12:47 pm