cmc18v

cmc18v

Name: Private | Gender: M | Member Since January 1, 2007
Current Level: Superstar | Email: Private
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MAN RULES

Posted on: May 8, 2008 3:50 pm
 
Finally , the guys' side of the story.
(
I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear
" the rules"
From the female side.  

 

  Now here are the rules from the male side.    


These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!
 

 

1.   Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem
only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the
  other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did
NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not
A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have
no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it
will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or
golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.
  Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Category: General
Reputation: 99
Level: Superstar
Since: Dec 5, 2006
Posted on: May 8, 2008 8:35 pm

MAN RULES

hahahahaha....you always come through with a good one, cmc.



Reputation: 99
Level: Superstar
Since: Aug 27, 2006
Posted on: May 8, 2008 9:14 pm

MAN RULES

1.  Because we're men, there is no need to ask us what we're thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex.  We have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.

1.  We do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than we have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; We don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.

1.  You don't have to ask us if we liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, we didn't... and if you are feeling amorous afterwards....then we will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.

1.  We can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like beer, milk or bread.  We cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all we know, these are the same thing.

1.  Because we're men, and this is, after all, the year 2008, we will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and we'll do the rest...... Like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.

 

 



Reputation: 97
Level: Superstar
Since: Jan 1, 2007
Posted on: May 9, 2008 10:33 am

MAN RULES

Good additions Spartan.. I have a few more the sensors might delete.



Reputation: 99
Level: Superstar
Since: Jun 28, 2007
Posted on: May 9, 2008 4:11 pm

MAN RULES

This is classic.  I'll be sending a copy of this to my girl.  Maybe she'll learn something from it.



Reputation: 96
Level: Superstar
Since: Aug 16, 2007
Posted on: May 9, 2008 7:46 pm

Whoa! MAN RULES

Have fun spanking your munkie if yo send this to your girl, farnz!!

We ladies only ask you questions to make you feel important because you have such fragile egos.

And we want the seat down because we don't want to touch it after you men pissed all over it.  Maybe we should raise the bowl up to your scrote so you short knockers can hit it?

AV



Reputation: 95
Level: Superstar
Since: Mar 7, 2008
Posted on: May 9, 2008 11:42 pm

MAN RULES

 

Haha!!!

 This is one of the best blogs i've read in awhile



Reputation: 96
Level: Superstar
Since: Aug 10, 2007
Posted on: May 10, 2008 4:53 am

MAN RULES

AV , Come now . All of these are humorous . Some are very true , and you as an enlightened liberated woman should recognize this . Obviously some are just goofs ( sort of ) . But just as women know certain truths about men , we also know certain truths about women . . . And like it or not , these little gems reflect many of the truths about both of us . . . Oh , and NOT all men piss all over the seat . For those of us who lift it ( I put it down AND close the lid when I'm done , but that's me ) , we obviously had to LOOK to see that the seat needed to be lifted. I suggest that women learn to LOOK to see that the seat needs to be put back down BEFORE they sit . Kinda like looking before you leap . See ? we CAN work together for a more harmonious world .



Reputation: 96
Level: Superstar
Since: Aug 16, 2007
Posted on: May 10, 2008 12:07 pm

MAN RULES

I hear ya vikes,

And I agree....I was just looking out for my buddy Farnz.  The couch can be a cold lonely place and you may wake up between the cushions with an imprint of a quarter on your forehead.  Heads or tails?

Believe me, when (if) I ever get married I will insist on building a male and female friendly bathroom complete with bidet and floor mounted urinal.  I am open to being fair with my manfolk.



Reputation: 94
Level: All-Star
Since: Apr 1, 2008
Posted on: May 12, 2008 2:47 pm

MAN RULES

Excellent CMC! Another of my favorites is, " Don't ask me if the dress your wearing makes your ass look fat. My answer is No! Your ass is what makes your ass look fat." I have learned to stop after the No. My doghouse is comfortable, but it does get cold.



Reputation: 97
Level: Superstar
Since: Jan 1, 2007
Posted on: May 12, 2008 7:33 pm

MAN RULES

Since most of the discussion revolves around the toilet seat issue there are SPECIAL MAN RULES. These  special addendums are actually number 2's.

 2. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat  by using the shower.



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